if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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