Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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