I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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