they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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