She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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