she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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