using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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