well most of my day revolves around power hour
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
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At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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