OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
