I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
