Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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