I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize