i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
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I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
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Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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