At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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