It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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