We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
