dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
