I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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