Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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