she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
