They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
