i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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