Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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