Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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