one might say we're banned from that church
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize
