You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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