Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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