I look better un-naked...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
