we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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