you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
