I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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