he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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