She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Houston, we have a squirter
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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