she was so not down for the gang bang
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
smell my finger.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
