Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize