How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize