Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
