There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Farmville is her only friend.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
