It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
