so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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