Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
