I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
