never play flip cup with pint glasses
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
