sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
