This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
