I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
