Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
