I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
