it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
