listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
