I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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