This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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