Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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