I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
