my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
