she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Damn victory sex feels great
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