I am spending my child support on dildos
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets