i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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