what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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