Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
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Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse