guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
