so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize