considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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