omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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