Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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