i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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