He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
